I have a niggling memory of hearing about this book when it was launched because the story was quite unique. Again standing at the Books Alive table in Readings (Carlton this time!) I picked it up and read the back cover ‘Single at 32, married at 33, and widowed at 34’. So to the register I went.
I quite like the way Lloyd tells such a sad story parallel to the renovation works of her home. Here’s a woman who has let everything go to nurse her husband to death and now needs to start rebuilding her life without him. The renovation theme is a nice metaphor.
This is the type of book where you know the end of the story before you begin but still feel compelled to go through it. It feels a bit voyeuristic to read about someone else’s misery and I think you do have to be in a certain frame of mind to get the best out of the book – not sure if I was.
The story opens with Lloyd conversing with a tradesman.
“’Would it be all right with ye if I came back and took a photo of this wall, here, y’know for me website?’ asked Jim, the Irish anti-damp expert who had come to access the damage to my home.
I was flattered, picturing a dazzling ‘before’ and ‘after’ comparative case study, until I realised what he meant. ‘I haven’t seen it as bad as this in a long time,’ Jim continued softly, gesturing either side of the fireplace in the living room. ‘Any reason ye left it for so long?’
The narrative switches between Lloyd mourning her husbands’ passing, trying to be productive in undertaking home improvements, documenting her husband’s far too rapid passing and finishes up in a more reflective tone.
The rest of my life will always be with John, and without him. His is a permanent absence that, like negative space, shapes my life. Sometimes it’s even difficult for me to believe that the history of our private world – from beginning to end, and everything that happened in between – occurred in the space of two years. “
At moments it’s a heart wrench, at moments it’s enlightening and a reminder to appreciate our loved ones. Lloyd has shared an incredibly personal story with warmth and grace and that’s what makes this a lovely, albeit sad, read.
